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I have been a victim of self-doubt for as long as I can remember. I picked up hints of who I was and what I could and couldn’t accomplish in my childhood. These beliefs were further reinforced by those around me who made it clear that I was average. My chances of breaking through the ceiling were slim. And true to their expectation, I fulfilled that prophecy to a great extent.
Society has reinforced a precise description of success, intelligence, talent, beauty, and happiness. Subconsciously, we’ve picked up these “truths” and owned them. The manifestation of our limited belief is disheartening.
How many times have you talked yourself out of applying for a job in the fear that you won’t get it? Tell us about that one time that you had a clear understanding of the topic in question, but you didn’t give your insights for fear of intimidating others with your intellect.
We dim our light every day because of the irrational belief that we are not good enough; that others will see right through the facade and affirm the one lie that we’ve been conditioned to believe for years. Isn’t it unfortunate that as unique as we all are, we are confined in one bucket?
These false limiting beliefs are holding you back from your destiny. Slowly, they are talking you out of your purpose. In time, the unhealthy thoughts will turn to self-fulfilling prophecies. So, the next time these negative thoughts creep in with a thousand reasons why you don’t qualify, stop them in their tracks with one question, “who told you I’m not enough?” Proceed and grill your thoughts through self-questioning.
Self-questioning
The first step to self-questioning is to be conscious of your thought system. Recognizing when your mind is trying to protect itself from potential failure will help you understand your biased thoughts.
You can filter these sabotaging ideas through a belief-audit where you’ll shed light on the beliefs and label them as facts or otherwise. The following questions will help broaden your perspective.
- Is the belief based on a widely accepted practice? Is it a one-size fit all, or there are exceptions? Under what circumstances did it hold true, and when did it not? Asking these questions will broaden your perspective, as not all situations are black and white.
- Is the belief an opinion or a fact? We mostly cling to ideas without substantial evidence. So, the purpose of this question is to find out facts that either verify or invalidate the thought. Do not be swayed by opinions that are safe yet prevent you from exploring your potential. Learning to substantiate unverified truths gives you the power to embrace different viewpoints and develop well-thought solutions.
- What is the worst that could happen by holding on and acting on this belief? Once you know the worst-case scenario, you are equipped to mitigate your fears.
- What factors are influencing your beliefs? Sometimes your belief is based on what is going on around you. The presence or absence of these factors could trigger a different decision. Ask yourself, if you were faced with the same scenario two weeks later, would your response be the same? Is your judgement clouded because it’s your first time in the neighbourhood, job, or church? Is it the fear of missing out? Perhaps it’s boredom or a health issue. Putting your thoughts in context widens your perspective and gives you a clear picture of the issue at hand.
Challenge your beliefs head-on
Once you’ve filtered your belief system, it’s time to challenge them. Remember, you’ve consistently followed these beliefs for the longest time. Therefore, it will take more than willpower to overcome the persistent thoughts of inadequacy and fear.
Take a proactive approach and deal with each of them head-on. If you shy from expressing yourself, challenge yourself to speak in every meeting you attend. If you feel inferior because you didn’t go to college, explore your skill sets and talents. The number of people who’ve made it without a college certificate is stunning.
Your age, looks, education, background, financial situation, and marital status are not the limiting factors. Your thoughts are. For this reason, ignore the societal pre-defined standards of where you should be at a certain age to be deemed successful. Challenge yourself every day to be the best version of yourself because you are enough in your own right.
Also read: I Am Whole and Complete As I Am!
